I'm finally happy!

Are you guys glad to finally see me smiling after centuries? :D and did the sigh of relief escape from your lips after Muiz and I aren't scuffling as how we invariably were? :D This is the kind of happiness that I like the most :) moderate type of one.Perhaps,feelin' overly ecstatic would eventually bring me to the depth of depression.But there ain't no guarentee the inevitable time of depression wouldn't occur again,but that's okay.We can always make preparations and we learn.


Speakin' of which,probably,mutual friends of Muiz and I are annoyed enough to see our displeasing wallposts haha he had always started the fight! and my friends had been askin' me of who this guy named Muiz is and they also question me why he has always pick up a fight.And I told 'em Muiz is a friend of mine whom I knew back a year ago.He probably is the most aggravating man alive but mind you,when you are having a scuffle with him,he wouldn't just throw you ridicules.He would as well outsmart you.So today,something unussual came up.He wished me a long and prospere marriage life with Wafa and he told me to go for the life I've always wanted.He didn't even tease me or anything! which is..bizarre.But I'm glad.Sometimes,you've just gotta be nice.


Wafa is gonna be home tommorow!! Not that I'm living over the same roof with him and not to mention he wouldn't even bother to chatter with me after he gets back from Bangkok but y'know..I've been missing him haha okay this is lame.He isn't even my boyfriend.Not that I wish but..can we not talk about this? lol.And oh yes,I had my Math examination this morning and everybody have told me how hard the paper was! and I was all very anxious and stuff but didn't bother to read? I've always had this overly self confidence! but that's okay,I guess.So I went to the teacher's office to sit for the test with Rafiah.After the paper was distributed,I read all of the questions and they weren't actually THAT hard.But I actually skipped a couple of questions and I didn't even mind to figure the answer out haha I don't know but I was feeling wimpy! so I submit the paper and Rafiah and I had to go back to the classroom while waiting for our parents to pick us up.

And oh yeah,you remember the mistaken Qawi I talked about days ago? He finally accepted my request and y'know what actually lighted me up? He posted a wallpost on my profile which made me kind of ecstatic 'cause didn't that show he isn't seeing me as a creep or a weirdo? lol.

Random Picture of the Day!







Hangin' out w/ my 3 year old lil' brother at his room.Looks pigsty,I know.

Humiliating thing I've ever done!

At 11 yesterday,I went out to The Mall with my friends.There were the ten of 'em including me.We had been planning on watching a Malay horror movie so we did.The movie was supposed to be started at 2.20 so we went to the UNI Archade for an hour or so and we had our lunch.It had been a while since I went to The Mall actually.The last time I went there was,2 months ago?.I remember when mom used to leave me at The Mall whenever she intended to leave me at my grandma's house,instead.





It almost seemed that the teenage guys and girls who were wandering around The Mall was bizarrely cute and all good-lookin'.And rather peculiar,most people spoke English over there.It was peculiar,okay haha.With the intention of playin' around,Iffa and I spoke in Arabic.Despite that I suck at Arabic,with the lack of vocabulary and the horrendous grammar,I still enjoy speakin' in it.Well,Iffa was a pro and she talked like an Arabian hahah eventhough she didn't wear a tudong and people stared at her like 'wow,this Malay lady knows how to speak fluently in Arabic'.Even when we were queing up,the married couple next to us constantly stared at Iffa.But that was when the humiliating part was to happen.I so-not-on-purpose glanced at a guy behind me and he smiled.I was instantly obliged to ask him wether he is a guy a know who is named Qawi.Okay,the thing is actually like this.That was Qawi Abdullah,the guy who was behind me.We had never even talked and I had only seen him once and that was merely in a picture.And he wasn't even in my Facebook friend list! Wafa once commented on his picture and it appeared on my Facebook homepage and I saw it.And the next thing I knew,I still remember him.But I was so weird,mahn.I asked him a second after I smiled.I thought he was Qawi Hussain,the guy I talked with on Facebook a month ago!





Me : 'You're Qawi,right?'


Qawi : 'yes.I am' *smiled*


Me : 'oh,you remember me? I'm chells! :D'


Qawi : 'oh shhhitt,sorry,I don't!.*frowning,thinkin' hard*

Me : 'umm,LChella? *4 seconds later* you still don't remember? :D '

Qawi : 'haha oh damn it.When was the last time I talked to you? :D'

Me : 'I don't remember.Last week,perhaps?'

Qawi : 'haha ah..I can't *shakin' heads*

Me : 'haha aww nevermind :) Oh,are you a chinese,anyway?'

Qawi : 'haha no no,I'm a Malay.I look like a chinese and speak like one! hahaha'

Me : 'hahaha oh yes you do.What movie are you gonna watch?'

Qawi : 'it's either the Kung Fu Panda 2 or the X-Men.What are you gonna watch?'

Me : 'some Malay horror movie.I come with my friends.'

Qawi : 'how many of 'em?'

Me : 'ten of us'

Qawi : '*gasped* wow hahah i come with those guys *pointing at several guys who were lining up too* I'm lining up here,the two are over there,and there is another one over there too.So many people'

Me : 'I know right! We had been waiting since forever.Your friends look quite good-lookin' huh'

Qawi : 'who are you referring to? that guy with the spiky hair?'

Me : 'hahah yes.What's his name? [I was just askin',FYI]

Qawi : 'you're gonna stalk him on Facebook! hahaha you people on Facebook love to stalk hahahaha'

Me : 'heeyy it's Facebook.'

Qawi : 'hahah okay okay.*tellin' me what that guy's Facebook is* so how long have you been here?'

Me : 'umm since ten in the morning.It wasn't crowded,initially.'

Qawi : 'haha yes.I know.'

And we talked about somethings that led to Wafa & Muiz.

Qawi : 'oh yeah,he moved out from Meragang cause he said it's boring hahaha'

Me : 'yah,he goes to MD :D'

Qawi : 'Oh,he did? How about Wafa?'

Me : 'Katok,I think :) .'

Qawi : 'oh really? cool. :D' oh,what's your Facebook again? *produced an iPod from his pocket*

Me : 'It's LChella Michaella Jackson'

Qawi : *Bent down and typed Ell*

Me : 'no,it's L'

Qawi : *typed and finished* oh,I've got to go over there to the guys.It's nice to meet you :)

Me : 'Oh,absolutely! It's nice to meet you too :)'


Like,you know,he is the most,most,corteous guy I have ever met.I've encountered talkin' to strangers for a lot of time and they ussually stutter or we'll have several awkward situations but when I talked to him,it almost seemed like,we've been friends for years and we just met and had a lot to talk about! So,I went home,singning in my Facebook acc and looked at Qawi Hussain's pictures again.I thought of how different he looked like and I said it must be the glasses.'Cause in Facebook pictures,Qawi Hussain actually wear glasses.While the Qawi I just met,didn't.I asked Muiz about it and he said 'The qawi you were talkin' to wasn't Qawi Hussain.He must be Qawi Abdullah,perhaps' after I depicted the Qawi I just met and yes,it was the Qawi Abdullah who I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER talked to.Like,tha heeeeck,how mortifying is that!! But I added him anyway haha he hasn't actually accepted my friend request.He must be like 'oh this is the girl at the cineplex! See,she's not even one of my Facebook friends! She just added me' please,don't let him think I'm a weirdo or a creep or anything equivalent haha

Talkin' about the old times

I typed my own name at the Google search bar and was anticipating to see what was gonna come out and Google showed me these ;




























I don't know if you can get a clear view at that,but they actually wrote about my childhood triumph.I was the youngest to join Category A that needs children of under 10 years old.No intention of gloating but,we,kids under 10 year olds,already memorize the surah-surah of Al-Quraan before we could even reach to be a ten year old.Even the councilers told us how we ought to be grateful to be given that kind of ability that not everybody can own.Hundreds of kids made an attempt to get to the semi-final and some number of kids were only chosen and luckily,I was one of them.I was rich back then,honestly.I made money by myself.Not that I'm the Olsen Twins who was making millions of money but if you have made it to every stage of the competition,you'll be given a hundred dollar or two.Not to mention the fancy prizes I didn't appreciate back then 'cause I was a kid.How people see you as a smart demurred religous girl who would say swearing would be the last thing she would ever do.When today,swearing is what I do when I first wake up.


My parents got dreams for me.They want me to be an Al-Quraan memorizer.To be a woman who is called,Qari'ah and Hafizah.People around me often told me I would me one,one day.I got words of congratulatory everywhere I went.The friends of my mom's were all so envious and my parents were gratefully proud for what I had archieved.I had also archieved a lot more.I've got Top 10 in Brunei to win the Al-Quraan competition under 10-years old.In the plus column,I was a selected student who made it to the Arabic Preparatory School out of a thousand of students.I still was active in religous activities back in the school.Chosen to be a main reader for any Al-Quraan activities.I was the lead of the Al-Quraan reading activity once a week.


But life isn't always triumphant.I picked a wrong kind of friend.She's a materialistic kind of girl and she taught me about fashion,make-ups,clothings,high heels and all that and I was only an 11 year old! Dad & Mom started to realize the changes I got there and I often got scolded.The next following year was a bit worse.I started to swear a lot.Man,back when I was kid,I didn't even dare to say the word 'pig'! or 'tampar' like,those are the most simplest swear words I would ever say today.But still,I was awarded as the best student in Arabic Language when I was in Year 7.As I moved to year 8,I was a balance of both.I know you don't dig that.What I meant was,I was good in both Academic and Religous subjects.I had gotten good grades and all that at the Mid Year exam.But life ain't any good.My only friends were Zima,Hafizah & Wajihah.I frequently got in scuffle with the other bitches in class.I never had any recognition in class.Like,the poor little geek who always sat at the corner of the room?



But year 9 is THE BEST! ..yet.My first monthly exam was FABULOUS! This year will be my year! I was completely happy and I knew my life was perfect.My social life was goin' well too.Gained a lot of recognition in class and I got the first place in O'level result and third if you mix up both O'level and Religous subejects.But..y'know,I ain't any happy tonight.I'm feeling down.There are a whole lot of depressing days lately.After school hours finished,I would sat down and cried.Nobody noticed and I didn't want anybody to.I had just a touch of a perfect life and everything was snatched away from me.There are days when I feel like I just wanna be alone for the entire day.There are days I wish I hadn't existed.But life needs to go on and .. let's fix the broken.

Who would ever thought the person who I used to respect as a thoughtful,smart friend was just dishing out a very offensive joke to my face!? She has always been so tactful and she cares about the feelings of others but not mine! She's a sensitive bitch and when I was trying to tease her about her being together with her crush,she tried to argue back to me with her stupid offensive joke.Duh,even when somebody tries to tease me relating to my crush who would be said to be in a relationship or anything with me,I would be soo flattered,okay! I wouldn't argue back and make out some stupid offensive joke.My other friends could see that I was offended in disguise but I guess not her! She's soo useless,man.After the whole teasing time was over,I went back to my seat and pretended like nothing had happened.She didn't even realize for a fucking second that I was hurt.You remember the friend I have got a friendship with for over 6 years? Yes,she noticed.And she asked me what was wrong and I smiled just like how I used to and said nothing was.But she doubted it and she saw the pain I got in my eyes when the offensive bitch believed the fucking smile I got on my face! She put me on a real badmood for the entire evening.What even worsened all these is that,I thought she would be a true bestfriend that would be there for me at my all-down time.How can I rely on her when she is the one who hurt me now? We had the longest phone call and we endlessly talked and laughed,y'know,just like how normal bestfriends forever do.But,totally don't worth my time talkin' about this.


Sooo,if you were about to question me about the Geography tests I had had today,I would sadly declare that it was the hardest Geography exam I have ever sit on.Like,the examiner was so stupid that when she went into our class to ask if we got any questions [that's my school tradition],she just answered so simply when we asked.For instance when my friend asked her what factor is in Malay,she answered 'oh,factor lah!' and my friend nodded quickly hahah man,why so afraid of that little fat monster?